Friday, 15 April 2011

Why Mohombi is Clearly a Virgin

This song is simultaneously a mating call and a poorly worded warning label. I applaud Mohombi for trying really, really hard to convince us that he has any idea how to even talk to a women. He has the soft voice of a choir boy - which makes lines like, "I'm on top of my love game, and you're gonna get it tonight" sound ridiculous (and slightly bipolar.)
"I made us a scrumptious dinner to eat by candle light... now get ready for MY DIIICCKKKK"
       The people in this music video go swimming,  play dominos, hell there's even a Sean Paul inspired boy band dance. Most of the boy-girl interaction goes no further then gentle cuddling. It's ok Mohombi, we know you have to put up a front for all your homies; but to us you can be yourself!

Mohombi Lyric Translator

"Im focused, Im ready, Im going to give it to you tonight"  =
 I took a Viagra 5 minutes ago, I swear I'll stay hard this time.

"It's gonna be a bumpy ride" =
I'm going to fumble around with your lady-parts while sweating profusely. You are probably not going to enjoy this.

"Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow" =
I know the steps involved in this process, just not the correct order.

"Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo" =

This. This is what I'm going to do to you
I'm going to go out on a limb and call Mohombi the Ricky Martin of the 2010's .. lets check back in 5 years shal we?

Full link to the lyrics (sing along purposes) can be found here

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