I knew I was going to spill one of these out eventually; it’s unavoidable at a time like this. As much as I try and convince myself otherwise – I. AM. A. STUDENT! University life forces students to make school priority #1. Think of it this way… need to miss a shift at work? Just call in 24 hours in advance and tell them you’re sick. Need to bail on a date? You’ll deal with a little backlash but just make up a good excuse. Want to get a final exam date changed? YOUR MOM BETTER BE DEAD, (sorry for the bluntness, just making a point.) It’s true though, most Universities won’t defer a final unless there was a death in the immediate family, or you just had your face ripped off by a rouge primate.
(They require signatures from the Doctor, 2 witnesses, and the monkey)
How do I get through exams? Unholy amounts of sugar. For some reason I work much better when I’m wired off-the-wall. Here’s a list of things I put in my mouth to achieve this.
- Cadbury mini eggs
- Jalapeno Ms. Vickie’s potato chips
- JuJubes (original – not those disgusting sour ones)
- Smart Food Popcorn
- Tim Horton’s french vanilla “coffee”
- Mc Donald’s Smarties McFlurry
- Dr. Pepper
I work so well under the influence of sugar if you put me in a study room with ALL the above mentioned foods I’d probably pull a PhD out of my ass.
If I was a philosophy major, I’d immediately go to the washroom and put it back where it came from.