Saturday, 23 April 2011

$5.65 a Day

This post is about Subway Restaurants. If you don't feel like wasting your time reading about my love for foot long sandwiches I promise I won't be offended; just slam your fist on your keyboard and I'm sure it'll somehow direct you away from my diarrhea-words. *Note to future self - don't use words like "diarrhea" in food related posts*

It would be fantastic if Subway appreciated my business so much that they asked me to write a few words about them. The reality is I'm just writing about things I know best - some would say I'm "addicted" - If I was addicted to crack, I'd blog about crack.

Honestly, I can't really tell the difference anymore
Obviously I'm exaggerating just a little bit; but on the days when I do choose to indulge myself I do so shamelessly for a number of reasons...

1) Its a lot of Food!

2) Its NOT Mc Donald’s, Harvey’s, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, etc

3) Mr. Sub is terrible. Also, while toasted may in fact taste better - Quiznos subs are still shit. Seriously Quiznos, you don't fool us with your gigantic toaster over and fancy conveyer belt. That machine looks less like it's for toasting subs; and more like something a bond villain would use to creatively put an end to 007.

4) It's Cheap! - depending on what you get (see title.) Compare $5.65 to your Starbucks order and tell me who gets the better deal... TELL ME NOW!

Things I dislike about Subway...

The Leftovers:
It makes your clothes smell terrible. No perfume, cologne, or deodorant known to man can get rid of Subway-Smell. Even washing machines sit there going "don't you dare put that stanky shit in me.. I will bleed your colours together so dam fast."

The Commercials

That jingle scares away customers like Snooki's vagina scares away gynecologists.

It's embarrassing that someone asked this question. It's also embarrassing that someone answered him. Finally, It's embarrassing that I typed "5 dollar foot long lyrics" into Google and was 100% not surprised when I found them.

1 comment:

  1. I enjoy your wit! Look forward to reading more from you. And yes, that Subway smell is, well...::scratches head:: Let's just say, you hit the nail on the head with that one!